GOP’s Master Debaters

By Sarcasmo Jones

It all started in Iowa, as strange as that seems
Captain Morgan poses and Republican dreams
The Bachmann’s chowing corn dogs like they just didn’t care
It’s an image that stays, just like Rick Perry’s hair

The Bachmann’s bussed in voters and paid for their meal
Some even voted for Bachmann, that’s a hell of a deal!
The one poll that counts comes during Iowa’s state fair
The guy who placed sixth wasn’t even there!

Now they’re having debates, seems like one every week
These master debaters are so eager to speak
They all hate Obama, on that they agree
The GOP…America’s angriest party

Romney and Perry are locked into a fight
Herman Cain wants to get your toppings just right
Ron Paul wants to legalize drugs on the street
More heroin addicts…yeah, that would be neat

Michele Bachmann sure doesn’t have much to say
Silently praying that Marcus ain’t gay
John Huntsman, Jon Huntsman…what is your name?
Why is Jon Huntsman still in the game?

Romney and Perry, the Governors clash
Then a big ol tag team on Rick Perry’s ass
He soft on illegals and took money from Merck
He lied about putting those Texans to work

No mention of lazy or his taxpayer-paid mansion
Just calling BS on his workforce expansion
A true Texas miracle has been happening down here
There’s a lot more pot dealers than this time last year

They’re debating the end of the American Dream
And Social Security’s one big Ponzi scheme
Raising taxes on rich folks is such a disgrace
And wipe that Santorum off of your face

Whichever one wins means America will lose
Pseudo-patriotic hucksters spinning a ruse
The whole party’s crazier than Bachmann’s wild eyes
How many voters will fall for their lies?

They boo for our soldiers and chant “let him die”
I wish I could help that uninsured guy…
I’ll vote my conscience and give Obama a shot
He’s only one man but the best chance we’ve got

%d bloggers like this: