Romney’s NAACP Speech??

by Sarcasmo Jones

I was in Houston earlier today in an attempt to ridicule Mitt Romney in person. Alas, his security is very tight so I abandoned that particular project with a dejected sigh. I started going through a nearby trash can hoping to find something wet and gooey to throw at the Presidential hopeful, when a commotion arose from a bus parked at the curb. A man was shouting “burn it for God’s sake. If he reads this we’ll be unemployed by the end of the week!” A man in a suit with a Romney pin attached to his lapel sprinted to the trashcan I was just digging in and dropped a handful of papers into it while muttering “I work for idiots.”  As he ran back towards the bus I pelted him in the back with a mostly uneaten Whataburger and then absconded with the discarded documents, which I now present for your entertainment.

***Editors note:  This is obviously a work of complete fiction, written only for a laugh.  Sarcasmo Jones was nowhere near Houston on the day of Romney’s speech at the NAACP convention.  I’m fairly certain Romney’s staff shreds everything anyway.  As for Jones, I think he might have taken a trip down “psycho lane” yesterday.  But don’t worry, we’re getting him the help he so desperately needs.  

Leave a comment


  1. Dribble? I’m pretty sure you meant drivel. It truly is a shame that spellcheck doesn’t take context into account. This is a humor piece, nothing more. You are correct in thinking that throwing a half-eaten Whataburger at Mitt Romney would make me laugh. That being said, I do not understand where conservative anger comes from…nor do I care. I’m not the one following blogs from the other side hoping to chip in a passive-aggressive piece of my mind. There are larger, and far more public, forums for that particular brand of combativeness. Doctor Jones has just the prescription for you, good lady: a Twitter account and a thesaurus. As always, thanks for sharing.

  2. The problem is that I can see The American Left putting this dribble out as truth because that is what the Left does. I think it’s telling that it starts with wanting to throw things at a political candidate….again, it wouldn’t surprise me if it were a true story.


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