You Might be a Republican – Part 2

By Sarcasmo Jones

It’s been over a year since the first entry, so we’re doing it again.

  • You Might Be a Republican if things like debating and lying leave you dehydrated.  Ryan-Rubio Water Break
  • You Might Be a Republican if you’re willing to spend tax money on miles of electrified fence but not on starving American children.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you want to secede from the US and take your Medicare and Social Security with you.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think that sick, uninsured folks should just walk it off.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you’re really looking forward to Herman Cain on Fox News so you can have your misinformation delivered by your old pizza guy.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think that a 4-hour wait to vote is acceptable…for other people.
  • joewalsh_youtubeYou Might Be a Republican if you complain that gay folks are destroying the sanctity of marriage while refusing to pay child support to your ex-wife.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think that the poll tax just wasn’t given a chance.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you’re more concerned about your magazine capacity than a school full of murdered children.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you mourned the loss of a fallen sniper more than the victims of Aurora or Sandy Hook.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think that the only thing that can stop a bad guy on a killing spree is a good guy on a killing spree.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you bought an assault rifle right after the Sandy Hook massacre.
  • 3618158863_ted_nugent_with_a_gun_11_answer_102_xlargeYou Might Be a Republican if you stupidly dared the government to come take your guns on a YouTube video.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you revere the author of “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang” as a valid political voice.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think that our President was elected based only on the color of his skin.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think that abortion laws will stop abortions but gun laws will be ineffective.
  • You Might Be a Republican if your political website features a firearm.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you consider treason to be patriotic.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you wish to deprive others of the same opportunities given to you.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you wish the environment would just get out of the way of your income.
  • You Might Be a Republican if your “middle class” home is worth more than a half million dollars.
  • beck-independenceYou Might Be a Republican if you want to live in “Glenn Beckville”.
  • You Might Be a Republican if you think Karl Rove has a winning record.

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2 Comments

  1. Thanks, Ted. It was meant to be funny. As former Republicans ourselves, Sarcasmo Jones and I are fairly familiar with the ways of Republicans, but we also know that there are exceptions out there, like you. Have a great day!

    Reply
  2. Ted N.

     /  February 18, 2013

    I’m a Republican, and I can’t identify with any of these things. Doesn’t make any sense at all actually. But it’s funny read.

    Reply

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