Cruzing

Written By Sarcasmo Jones

“It’s always the wacko bird on right and left that get the media megaphone.” Sen. John McCain

A lot of good legislators have come out of the great state of Texas: Ann Richards, LBJ, Charlie Wilson, Dwight Eisenhower. However, Texas also bears responsibility for cruzallowing minor league knuckleheads, like GW Bush and Rick Perry, to make it to the big time. Senator Rafael Edward Cruz, unfortunately, is of the Texas knucklehead variety of lawmaker. Not one to waste time, Sen. Cruz has already introduced his own bill to repeal Obamacare, took partial credit for Rand Paul’s ridiculous filibuster, made waves with his McCarthy impression declaring that Harvard Law School is overrun with communists, and sends weekly e-mails to constituents patting himself on the back.

The Junior Senator from Texas has certainly hit the ground running. If by hit the ground running one actually means wasting the Senate’s time on another doomed attempt to repeal The Affordable Healthcare Act. This same measure has failed 35 times before, but Senator Cruz thought that it was a good idea to waste valuable time in a show of Republican solidarity.

According to an e-mail sent from the office of Senator Cruz “All 45 Senate Republicans presented a united front and voted unanimously in favor of Sen. Cruz’s amendment to defund Obamacare in the upcoming Continuing Resolution. Unfortunately, the amendment was defeated on a party-line vote; all Senate Democrats voted against it. While it’s disappointing the amendment did not pass, Sen. Cruz is proud that all Senate Republicans recognized the threat Obamacare poses to our still-struggling economy and came together to force this matter for a vote in the U.S. Senate.

Shortly before the vote, Sen. Cruz delivered his first major speech on the floor of the U.S. Senate, highlighting many of the promises Obamacare has already broken.”

While CPAC was deliriously devoid of real Republican politicians, the usual gang of hard-right wacko birds spent a fair amount of time basking in their own rhetoric: drones
sarah palin holds her big gulpare bad, Obamacare has to go, and, naturally, Big Gulps and Bushmasters are here to stay. Perhaps realizing the fortuitous timing of Rand Paul’s publicized filibuster, Senator Cruz gave himself partial credit for the filibuster, in addition to  mocking environmental concerns as well as vocalizing his inability to grasp the gravity of the sequester by claiming that “conservatives are winning right now.” Cruz will likely never miss an opportunity to brag about himself in front of a camera or crowd…how Texan.

Did you know that Harvard Law School is full of Communists? Neither did I, but Senator McCarthy, excuse me, I meant Cruz, has a list of card-carrying Communists at that institution. Now, dear reader, I sense that you may have doubts about Rafael’s ability to spot a Communist, but believe me, ol’ Ted can spot a Commie. In fact, when Cruz was a partner at Morgan, Lewis & Bockius LLP, in Houston, Cruz acted as the attorney of record representing the Shandong Linglong Tyre Co. This Chinese company lost a lawsuit for manufacturing tires using a stolen blueprint from an American, and Cruz’s firm represented the Chinese in the appeal. Cruz claimed that his involvement in the suit was minimal, but his name appears on several documents as the attorney of record. This is where Sen. Cruz learned how to spot a Communist, apparently he learned the art of duplicity sometime before his tenure at Morgan, Lewis & Bockius.

 I don’t know why I’m receiving regular emails from Sen. Cruz’s office, but they send them regularly whether I ask for them or not. On one hand it’s irritating that I receive crap that I never signed up for.  I get the same kind of shit from Kenny Marchant. On the other hand, it’s nice being spoon-fed material that I would otherwise have to research. Ol’ Ted just loves to talk about himself, and if you were the kind of person with an affinity for bullshit, then Ted Cruz could have you believing that he hung the moon. Expect this grandstanding Texan to spend more than his fair share of time talking about himself in front of a camera. He’s even proud of his most deplorable acts: he actually campaigned on killing a Mexican…and he won. Way to go, Texas.

Expect some more finger pointing, grandstanding, accountability dodging, and a big ol’ dose of brother Jesus in your dwindling Tea Party. If Cruz doesn’t resurrect the hard right, he will almost certainly undermine its credibility.


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