Republicus Confundium

By Sarcasmo Jones

The Republican agenda appears, to most Democrats, to consist of so many contradictions and thinking errors that it must be very difficult for most Republicans to actually back their appointed representatives with enthusiasm. These people have elected their officials to be their voice in Washington, supposedly for the same reasons that constitution-fireDemocrats elect officials: to look out for the best interests of their constituents and to uphold The Constitution. The strength of Republican resolve must surely be tested every time these Representatives and Senators turn a blind eye to their voter base to line their pockets with corporate cash in order to vote in the best interests of their corporate benefactors or offer an official voice to an opinion contradictory to public opinion.


“I wonder how many Boston liberals spent the night cowering in their homes wishing they had an AR-15 with a hi-capacity magazine?” Arkansas State Rep Nate Bell sent that statement across Twitter during the manhunt for the Boston Marathon bombers. He later apologized for the timing of the tweet, but not the content. Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley and Kentucky Senator Rand Paul claim that the attacks on Boston underscore a pressing need to beef up security, and perhaps, overhaul the entire immigration process. Many other Republicans support slowing down the immigration process and intensify the screening process regarding who we let in this country and who we don’t. However, none of these Republican legislators are willing to enact legislation to prevent these “dangerous immigrants” from obtaining firearms once they are safely within ap_adam_lanza_ll_121217_wgour borders. They don’t even want to screen for felonies. Ironically, the Boston Marathon started with 26 seconds of silence to honor the 26 victims of Adam Lanza’s elementary school shooting spree.


It took only three deaths in Boston to motivate Republicans to start talking about immigration reform, but when 20 children were gunned down in an elementary school these same “distinguished gentlemen” dug in and refused to budge on considering that background checks for firearms purchased at gun shows and over the internet might The families of victims grieve near Sandy Hook Elementary School, where a gunman opened fire on school children and staff in Newtown, Connecticutbe a good idea. The grieving parents of those slaughtered children traveled to Washington to witness the greatest congressional disservice to Americans in a decade: the refusal to support a bill that over 90% of the American people support. Somehow, NRA lobbyists have become more important to the legislative process than we the people. I don’t give a fuck how much money any particular lobbyist spent on killing that particular piece of legislation, he still only gets one vote.

Another interesting point regarding the holiest of holy amendments, the second amendment does not specify firearms. These folks are screaming about the necessity of high capacity magazines and the right to carry assault rifles. Where is the uproar against the illegality of switchblade knives? Limits on blade lengths? The right to carry crossbows? Where’s my fucking tank?

Minimum Wage

The American economic situation took a severe downturn near the end of George W’s second term, and still has not made a complete recovery. In an effort to speed economic recovery, give minimum wage earners their highest purchasing power since 1981, and put millions of Americans above the poverty line, President Obama has suggested that we raise the minimum wage to something closer to a living wage. Republican opposition, primarily from Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio certainly lends Marco-Rubio-145012270-1-402credibility that these folks don’t give a shit about employees, just the check signers. Republicans claim that this will stagnate economic growth and hurt employers, despite several studies with contradictory results. How could any lawmaker, with access to three different credible studies providing support for raising the minimum wage, decide that this was not in the best interest of Americans?


Rush Limbaugh represents the duplicitous nature of the modern Conservative to a tee. He has condemned drug use, even suggesting longer sentences for users. All of this was, of course, before his drug arrest and admission of addiction to oxycontin and hydrocodone. He blames Obama’s victory on uninformed voters, which Rush-Limbaugh-and-Viagralikely consists of folks who don’t tune in to hear this Southeast Missouri State University dropout, and four-time divorcee, spew his venom on the air. Not only does this despicable man propagate misogyny, as his references regarding feminazis and his Sandra Fluke comments suggest, but he also clearly endorses racism. His short-lived stint on ESPN was ended due to racist remarks, but I guess he feels safe venting misogyny and racism on his own Clear Channel radio show. Or does he? Since the Sandra Fluke fiasco, Limbaugh has lost over 2600 sponsors due to pressure from folks exercising their own first amendment rights and boycotting the companies that run ads on his show. I guess you don’t need a microphone to have a voice.

If Republican legislators and left wing media mouthpieces, like Mr. Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, aren’t acting and speaking out for Americans, then who are they speaking for? I guess the more important question would be why would we vote for folks who won’t vote for us? 2014 could prove to be even more crucial for Americans than 2012, let’s get it right this time or we will have no one to blame but ourselves.

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  1. Rod Wymer

     /  April 30, 2013

    No writer’s credit for poor Sarcasmo?



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