Republicus Confundium Part 2

by Sarcasmo Jones

Have you ever noticed that while Progressives and Liberals tend to vocalize disapproval with Republican legislators, Conservatives tend to vocalize disapproval with anyone not leaning to the right?  You don’t have to be in politics to draw Conservative wrath, you just have to be on the other side of the fence.  You Tweeters and those  with Conservative Facebook friends know what I’m talking about.  I guess yelling at us keeps them preoccupied and blind to the fact that all of us are in the midst of a civil rights backslide time machine.  Speaking of backslides…

Trayvon Martin

trayvonThe state of Florida has declared open season on black folks.  George Zimmerman shoots a kid who isn’t even old enough to vote, armed only with a bag of Skittles and a can of Arizona Fruit Juice Cocktail, and gets away with murder.  Another Floridian, Marissa Alexander, fires a warning shot to prevent skittlesgetting beat up by her husband, and winds up with a twenty year prison sentence.  I guess that “stand your ground” law doesn’t apply if you’re black.

Peaceful protests were held in several major cities to honor Trayvon Martin and condemn the miscarriage of justice regarding Zimmerman’s acquittal.  Well, they were mostly peaceful.  A protest in Wichita, Kansas was visited by a couple of “good ol’ boys” attempting to start some shit in front of several children and young adults.  One of the good ol’ boys was sporting a t-shirt that read “ This Shirt Can Say NIGGER Because It Is Black”.  Way to keep it classy there, Slim.

The social media platforms were absolutely on fire with folks spitting at us that justice was served and George Zimmerman was innocent, and that it was time to put it all in the past.  These are the same people that are still bitching about OJ Simpson’s murder acquittal.  Maybe we could hold a death match…we give OJ a knife and George a bag of pork rinds and let them fight it out.


After all the grandstanding, filibustering, and gubernatorial whining, those knuckleheads in Austin went ahead and passed that extremely restrictive davis and perrylegislation which effectively narrows low income reproductive health options to a handful of clinics, one of which is operated by Rick Perry’s sister.  Tampons were not allowed in the Capitol Building this time around.  Nothing says gender equality like protesting reproductive health accessibility with wadded up toilet paper crammed in your panties to stem the tide of menstruation.  And they say chivalry is dead.

John Boehner

Our Speaker of the House has put a twist on governmental impotence that 0720-boehner_full_600would make M. Night Shyamalan proud.  He is now claiming that the House’s lack of productive legislation is the new definition of success, despite popularity polls  indicating the exact opposite.  I guess 40 failed attempts at repealing Obamacare equals resounding success in Boehnerland.  If I went to work and instead of concentrating on what I was instructed, I failed 37 times at the exact same task that I was told to leave alone, I doubt things would go my way when my performance review came up.  By the way, when does Mr. Boehner come up for re-election?  I hope we don’t make that same mistake twice.

The Pink Mass

The mother of Westboro Baptist Church instigator, Fred Phelps, is now gay for eternity in the afterlife, according to The Satanic Temple.  The New York group performed the Pink Mass,pink mass as both protest and PR stunt to gain attention for their adopt a highway efforts, over the grave site of  Catherine Johnston.  Consequently, whenever a gay couple kisses over the grave, Catherine is pleasured in the afterlife.  The group has graciously provided directions to the cemetery in Wichita, Kansas and urges same sex couples visiting the grave to photograph their kiss and submit the pic to The Satanic Temple’s website.  I never thought I would say this, but after visiting the website, it would seem that the Satanists have a better moral compass than a lot of these Conservative Christians I’ve seen lately, and certainly better than Fred Phelps.

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