Northern Liberal Aggression

by Sarcasmo Jones

TexasMonthly_FlagI enjoy watching the Tea Party drive a spike into the unity of the Once-Grand Old Party; it’s entertaining for the Republicans to constantly show their soft, white, weak underbellies allowing us to pinpoint and exploit their weaknesses.  It’s like The Art of War for Dummies.  Lately, however, some liberals, and even progressives, have been actively driving a similar wedge down the middle of the Democrat party….and that divide starts at the Mason-Dixon line.

In the past several months, posts have been shared by “liberal” Facebook pages, like Being Liberal, Mad as HELL Liberals, Americans Against the Republican Party, and Occupy Democrats, that are not only intentionally divisive, but clearly inflammatory to Southern Democrats, judging by the comments left in response to these posts.  These pages are all guilty of posting memes suggesting that the United States would be better off without its Southern half.  “Good Riddance” one particularly offensive meme proclaimed.  Good riddance?  The Republicans claim that Obama’s 2012 victory was due to a massive turnout of uninformed voters.  Are they right?  Do Northern Democrats really despise Southerners based on their geographical location, regardless of political affiliation?  That can’t be right…at least I hope they’re wrong.

Would folks living in a blue state be willing deprive me of U.S. citizenship because I have a lot of Republican neighbors?  Yeah, there are a lot of idiots running around down here, but I already knew that….I fucking live here.  I can’t grant credibility to a mischaracterization of Southerners by someone who doesn’t live with Southerners.  Spend some time in Texas before you start telling me about Texans, amigo.  While I almost never agree politically with my relatives or neighbors, I cannot honestly say that the state is overrun with dumb asses, even though we have certainly elected our fair share of dumb asses   I cannot begin to accurately describe my horror as the folks who represent Texas, like Kenny Marchant and Ted Cruz, vow to repeal Obamacare and uphold the Second Amendment for all the wrong reasons.  Watching Louisiana’s resident idiot, Bobby Jindal, try to push a Ryan-esque voucher program through his state’s legislation was one of the most nauseating displays of avarice against one’s own constituents that I have ever had the misfortune to witness.  Add Eric Cantor’s smirking disregard of humanity and I can understand why liberals would have an axe to grind with Southern Republican legislators, but not the South itself.

surrenderappomottoxThe Civil War ended on May 9th, 1865.  Anybody who had a stake in the war, North or South, has long since passed on.  I can see no good reason for modern liberals to turn on their Southern counterparts.  We don’t have slaves any more, I promise.  Our internet service might be a bit slower, some of us have drawls, and not all of us have all of our teeth, but that does not mean that blue state liberals are any smarter, or have a more valid claim to US Citizenship than red state liberals.  They just get more snow than we do; that’s the only difference.

The meat of my little tirade boils down to this:  if we’re after the same thing, why is this wedge here?  Instead of us against them, it’s starting to look like us against us AND them.  That’s kind of a stupid message to carry. Kinda sounds like some Tea Party shit to me.

So, to those liberal sites I mentioned above, I would sincerely appreciate you removing your divisive memes ASAP, and I would suggest an apology to all those folks you offended…they don’t sound happy.  Oh yeah, and to the admin of Mad as HELL Liberals Facebook page, who told me not to let the door hit my ass on the way out, I’m not angry with you, but Texas isn’t going anywhere, amigo.

Northern Liberal

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